Outling Read online

Sniffing, I nodded. How could he know how old I was?

  “So young,” Justine said with a wry shake of her head. “And tasting power already.”

  Power? Something deep inside me burst into flame like a match dragged across the concrete, but my questions fell away when a big object on the lawn snagged my attention.

  A giant fountain sat on the broad stretch of grass. How had I missed it when we drove by? Water shot up in pale blue spurts, the sparkling droplets reaching for the sky. In the center of the water stood a two-story, gleaming dragon. Made of clear material—glass or stone or crystal like in CrystalWing Academy—it caught the late-day sunlight and shattered the beams, sending bright arcs whirling away from it in blinding disarray.

  Mesmerized, I forgot Mom and what might happen to me now, everything else except the dragon. I couldn’t drag my eyes away.

  In the beast’s chest, a red light winked at me.

  I gasped. Was the sun playing tricks, or was that a heart beating?

  A glistening cluster of threads in deep blue, purple, and yellow slithered out from the statue, straining toward me as if they’d die if I didn’t touch them.

  Unable to resist, I raced toward the strands—the call—my arms extended forward in greed.

  “Not yet, child,” Cloven said with a chuckle. A few quick strides and he’d grabbed the back of my shirt again, bringing me to an abrupt halt. “I’m afraid it’s much too soon for that.” Humor bubbled out of him as he took my hand and led me back to Justine. “But in time.”

  “Eager, isn’t she?” Justine said with what sounded like satisfaction. “So unusual. Do you think…?” She shook her head as if dismissing an unbelievable notion. Like she thought I’d break free and race toward the beast again, she latched onto my arm. I would run toward the dragon. I couldn’t resist. I didn’t care if I got wet. If it came to life and roared.

  Not even if it engulfed me in flames.

  A quick wave of her hand, and tingles flashed from my head to my toes. I sagged as if something precious and unnamed had been snuffed out inside me.

  “Suspended,” Cloven said with a nod. “It’s awful doing this to someone so young.”

  “As if we have a choice? She can’t be allowed to go rogue.” Justine tapped her chin, frowning. “I believe…We’ll place her with Ester at Broad House.”

  “Ester. You’re sure?”

  “Of course.”

  “But she’s…”

  “What? It’s not as if there are many options.”

  “True.” He stroked my hair. “It’s only for a few years, child. Bear with it and better things will come for you after. Ester’s…harsh, but she’ll protect you. Harden you so you can survive when you return. Soon, you’ll come back to CrystalWing Academy as a student, and we’ll teach you wonders you can never imagine.”

  Like in my favorite books?

  “Here, you’ll be taught to touch real magic,” he added.

  Yes…

  “Outsiders bring too few children like Fleur to us. Most outlings…” Justine shuddered, “are disposed of instead.”

  Cloven nodded. “As if they’re flawed.”

  “We need to keep this one safe. Ester, while lacking in many ways, is capable of that. I’ll make sure she secures the house with wards.” Bending down in front of me, Justine gripped my upper arms, holding me still until my eyes—now flooded with tears—rose to meet hers. “Listen to me, Fleur. You did nothing wrong.”

  I sniffed. “But Mom said—”

  “Those without aptitude never understand. But one day soon, this will all make sense. Then you’ll be able to find forgiveness for your mother, as well as for yourself, in your heart.”

  “What do you mean?” My urge to run into the woods had disappeared, but I was frightened, not knowing what might come next. Mom abandoning me had left me floundering in a rough sea, without an anchor to hold me in place.

  Straightening, Justine brushed my long, dark brown hair off my face. “No worries, dear. It’ll all be clear in time.” She took my hand. “Are you ready to take a little trip?”

  I shrugged, tears wetting my lashes all over again. How could Mom leave me?

  “Close your eyes and promise not to look.”

  Scrunching my face up, I did as she asked, scared that disobeying her would make her reject me, too. Where would I end up then?

  The world spun around me and wind picked up my hair and slapped it in my face. The weight of a thousand soaking wet blankets fell across my shoulders, and my knees gave way. I started to fall, but I didn’t hit the ground. I met nothing except air. My belly heaved at the weightless feeling, and my heart bolted against my ribs, straining to break through muscle and bone. As I opened my mouth to scream, my feet slammed onto solid ground, and my teeth jarred together.

  “Okay, you can open your eyes,” Justine said with a soft laugh. “Well done, by the way.”

  I blinked and stared around. “How…” This was impossible. Seconds ago, I’d stood beside Cloven in front of CrystalWing Academy and now, my feet were firmly planted on a narrow cobblestone walkway leading up to a tiny brick building with two floors, four gleaming windows, and a slate-colored front door. A deep, dark forest surrounded the building, encroaching to the point the trees looked poised to engulf it. Spooky shadows flitted around where the sun couldn’t reach.

  The door opened and a short, plump woman with gray hair secured in a tight bun at her nape stepped outside. She strode forward but stopped on the walkway a few feet in front of us, well within the shadows. Her arms linked on her ample chest, and she grunted.

  “You received my message, Ester?” Justine asked.

  “Hard to miss when you’re screeching in my head, now isn’t it?” Her brown eyes sped down my frame as if assessing my worth and finding me distinctly lacking. Her lips twisted into a knot. “I assume she comes with a stipend because times are tight.”

  “Naturally.” From the way she tossed out the word, I could picture Justine rolling her eyes. “You do have room, don’t you?”

  Ester huffed. “One bed, as you very well know. But only if she’s suspended. Won’t take her otherwise.”

  “Would I bring her here if she wasn’t?” Justina drew herself up and stared down her nose at Ester. Her fingers dusted across my shoulders. “This is Fleur. She’s ten. You’ll need…wards.”

  Ester blinked and reassessed me, though it wasn’t clear if she saw anything new. “Even suspended?”

  “She has no discernable aptitude. I tested her myself. She could be…We just don’t know yet.”

  What was aptitude? A skill, maybe. I cringed because it sounded bad that I didn’t have one.

  Ester grunted. “Don’t like what that could mean.”

  “Me either, but we shall see. And one other thing? She has…true power.”

  “Some keep it. Some don’t.” Ester’s shoulders rose and fell. “Time tells all, eh?” A growl slipped from her mouth. “Seven years, then.” With an unimpressed lift of her bushy gray eyebrows, she waved to me. “Well, come along, girl. Don’t just stand there. It’ll be dark soon, and I need to get you settled so I can return to my work.”

  As Ester led me away with a pinch of her fingers on my elbow, I peered back.

  Justine had disappeared.

  How…I shook my head. Things were going on here I may never understand.

  And while I was scared, no worried, a tiny thrill went through me because I seemed to be living an adventure straight from one of my books.

  Where would this path take me?

  Ester directed me into a small kitchen with a big old woodstove like something I’d seen on one of Mom’s historical shows. A round pot simmered on top, and my mind perked up when I took in the intriguing smells filling the air.

  “There are two rooms upstairs. One is mine, so stay out if you know what’s good for you.” She tapped my back. Not in a friendly way. More in a warning way. As in, enter her room and feel the full impact of her wrath.

  The tap she delivered to my arm was firmer. It didn’t quite hurt but I rubbed the spot to sooth it anyway.

  “Bedtime is promptly at eight. You’ll help in the kitchen to pay for your upkeep. Stipend won’t be enough. I homeschool any outling that resides underneath my roof and right now, you’re it.”

  Homeschooling? Ugh.

  “What’s an outling?” I asked.

  “Never you mind about all that. You’ll learn what you need to know once you return to the Academy.”

  “You said there are…no other kids here?” My initial excitement had fizzled. This wasn’t an adventure in one of my fantasy books. Being an outling—whatever that was—was starting to sound like being worse than Cinderella.

  Ester braced her palms on her hips. “I run a tight house. You’ll be up at dawn and there won’t be a spare moment for you to get into trouble. I’ll ward you, all right. Not just the building and the surrounding area.”

  “Um, is this going to be my home, now?” Anguish leached into my voice. Mom! How could she do this to me?

  “You’ll remain here until you turn seventeen when I’ll ship you off to CrystalWing Academy.” She pushed me across the room and into a small entry with a narrow set of rickety stairs leading upward. “Go on, then. Your room is at the top, on the right. Remember, stay out of the other. It’s not for you. And I’ll know if you peek.” Her gaze drifted to the pot simmering on the stove as she tapped her temple. “I can see.”

  I shivered. Forget excited. Now, I was totally creeped out. “What do you mean by get settled?” I refused to ask what else she could see. “I didn’t bring anything with me.” Just the clothes I’d dressed in this morning. My throat tightened. I’d forgotten my rabbit…

  “Cloven sent your things over already.”

  “Um, what?” I couldn’t imagine what that meant.

  Ester’s lips twisted. “All your belongings.”

  “But Mom—”

  “Is gone and this is your life, now.” Her palm hit my back. Harder this time, enough to cause pain. “Go on with you, I said. Don’t be a bother.”

  Holding back my tears, I rushed up the stairs and turned right. A dingy carpet covered the hall and a worn path led to a solitary door. A quick shove and it hit the wall. I shuddered, worried Ester would screech about me damaging her property, but silence hung in the air like a thick fog. Maybe she hadn’t heard the bang.

  I fled inside the room and shut the door carefully. Turning, I stared around through blurry eyes, taking in the solitary bed covered with a homemade quilt. Two cardboard boxes sitting against the back wall. A tall wooden bureau and a stand beside the bed. On the left, a closet door I wasn’t sure I wanted to open. And a floor lamp sat near a small desk set up underneath the only window. Orange and green wallpaper in a floral pattern covered the walls. One corner had pulled away from the plaster and drooped.

  Like I drooped.

  My rabbit lay on the pillow. How…?

  Collapsing on the mattress and clutching my stuffed friend, I stared up at the flecked white ceiling. I pressed my fist against my mouth to hold back my sobs.

  No use.

  Giving up the fight, I turned and shoved my face into the pillow. I suffocated my grief, my wails, shoving my anguish into a tiny box in my mind and slamming the lid shut.

  That was the last time I cried.

  Chapter 2

  Present Day

  In my dreams, a snowy white owl swooped through my bedroom window and dropped a fancy envelope in my lap. Inside, I’d find an invitation to attend a wizard school.

  Instead of an owl, I got Ester.

  Rapping on my door before dawn, she shouted, “Come on, girl. The day has come. I’m taking you to CrystalWing Academy, where they’ll teach you control.”

  Like I didn’t have control already? For seven. Long. Years. I’d done whatever she demanded, said practically nothing, and sunk deeper into myself.

  She hadn’t actually acted mean; she’d been distant. Watching all the time as if she expected me to spontaneously explode in front of her. And strict. She’d named that right when I arrived. Kept busy from morning until dusk with schoolwork and housework and everything in between, I’d collapsed on my bed in exhaustion at the end of each day.

  With no other kids around and rarely going into town, I’d been lonely.

  I knew what she meant, though. Magic control. I wasn’t sure I wanted to learn anything about my supposed magical abilities. All they seemed to do was cause pain, to kids at my old school and to my mother.

  But I was beyond ready to spring free of Ester.

  Late afternoon, Ester swept her car up to the front of CrystalWing Academy. She parked in the shade next to multiple other vehicles in the drive, and we got out.

  When she said nothing, just stared at me over the top of the car, I squirmed like I hadn’t in years. Despite being seventeen and finally arriving at what could be my destiny, with one look, she reduced me to the scrawny, scared kid I’d been when Justine dumped me on Ester’s doorstep. As if I was something worth less than a speck of dirt beneath her shoe.

  Was this the end? Would she say see ’ya later, get back into the car, and drive away? While she avoided the sun at all times, I also stood in the shade. If she wanted to, she could come around the hood and…I don’t know. Pat my arm?

  She must feel something for me after all these years, didn’t she?

  Tears shouldn’t burn in my eyes. I definitely shouldn’t feel a stab of pain in my belly. Ester wasn’t a mom or even much of a friend. She’d been a caretaker, one forced into the role. She didn’t hate me; she’d just shown on every occasion that she was…indifferent to me.

  “Your belongings have been placed in your dorm room,” she finally said.

  Unlike me, Ester could wield magic. The exciting, wonderful, unbelievable kind of magic I’d dreamed of possessing when I was little, before everything fell apart. With a simple thought, Ester could make things happen. If she said my things were already in my room, I knew I’d find them stacked in a neat pile in the corner.

  Since I’d long since outgrown what I’d brought with me when I arrived at Ester’s, my thrift store purchases must be waiting for me to unpack them in my new room, then.

  Awesome.

  From what I could see already, kids at CrystalWing Academy dressed in clothing I could only fantasize about owning. In my beat-up jeans, tee, and scuffed plaid flannel, I’d stand out like their unwelcome, destitute second cousin.

  A family—complete with a mom and a dad and a little sister—strolled past, gaping up at the front of CrystalWing Academy. The dad pulled a cart overloaded with luggage and boxes filled with everything his son might need to be successful at school. He ruffled his son’s hair. The mom sniffled as if she couldn’t bear to be parted from her boy for even one second.

  My heart ached for what would never be mine.

  I hadn’t expected Ester to help me carry my things up to my dorm room, to tease me while I put everything away, or even to sit across from me in the dining hall and insist she couldn’t eat a thing because she already missed me. And I sure as hell hadn’t expected a hug before she left.

  At least I hadn’t set myself up for disappointment.

  If I knew Ester, she’d cleared my room of my things within seconds of me shutting the door.

  “I’ll, uh, see you around?” I said. Anything to get through this awkward moment.

  I could swear her face briefly softened, but I must be mistaken. Softening would mean caring and that had never been a part of our relationship.

  “Doubtful,” she said finally, proving I’d named it right. “Behave. Don’t get into trouble.”

  Fair enough. While I deserved the warning, she wasn’t saying anything I hadn’t heard over and over throughout the past seven years.

  I could’ve turned my back and stormed away from her, but what good would that do? After all this time, if she couldn’t love me for who I was then she didn’t deserve deeper emotion from me in return, including anger. “Thank you for…well, for everything,” I finally said.

  “You’re welcome.”

  Now, I did turn away from her. As I walked across the drive, I heard her car door open. She settled herself inside and buckled. After starting the engine, she drove away. I doubted she looked back. But then, neither did I.

  Once I was sure she’d disappeared down the drive, I spun to face the front lawn. Because, the dragon. My need to see it again had grown inside me for what felt like forever. Had I imagined the colorful threads reaching toward me?

  The crystal beast sparkled in the sunshine like it had before. Unchanged. Well, except there were no threads. And the heart didn’t wink at me, either. Had I imagined the threads and the red gleam all those years ago?

  A skinny guy about my age with dark skin and short, tight curly hair stood on the opposite side of the fountain and, as if he felt me looking, his gaze caught mine. It seized me; I could not pull my eyes away. Unease trickled inside me like the final grains of sand slipping through the narrow opening of an hourglass. Fear lanced through me. I needed to get away from him. Now.

  As he stared, his jaw dropped.

  While it would be nice to think he was stunned by my beauty, the idea was absurd. Outside of my lavender eyes, I was nothing but average. Maybe he was staring at my blue hair. In a minute, he’d point and laugh. Great.

  I’d saved up the tiny allowance Ester gave me and bought the box of hair color last week, then hung over the sink, dripping, until it set. Cerulean blue. A birthday present to myself, to make me feel special.

  Now, I felt weird, pinned in place by a creepy guy’s stare.

  When he started toward me, I dug inside for the strength I needed to wrench free of his frightening hold. My knees weak, I staggered sideways, barely catching myself before I fell.

  My mouth flashed dry, and I whirled and bolted toward the school. An overwhelming need to escape, for self-preservation, filled me.

  Who was he and how had he scared me with just his stare?

  As I joined other kids and their parents climbing the stairs, I shook off my terror.